The perception of cuckolding relationships is wrought with myths, assumptions, and straight-up fallacies. Many who seek to learn more about the reality of the dynamics within a cuckolding relationship and an interpretation of those dynamics are led astray by overly-fetishized elements of the lifestyle. There is one misconception about cuckolding relationships that tops the list of perplexing and troubling notions in my opinion. It is the idea that cuckolding was introduced into the relationship to address a deficiency. The most obvious deficiency so many people assume is fulfilled through introducing a cuckolding dynamic is a lacking or lackluster sex life. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In most cases cuckolding dynamics arise in couples who are immensely satisfied with their sex life, whether they are monogamous or non-monogamous initially.
In the past year I have made myself available to answer hundreds of questions from members in the cuckolding community curious about our expression and experiences in the lifestyle. I have noticed a pattern emerge in several of the questions that get asked most often, questions like “Has your opinion/perspective of your fiancé changed since you started cuckolding him?”, “Did you enjoy having sex with your fiancé before you started having sex with bulls?”, and “Are you still attracted to your fiancé?” My answers to these questions have always been simple. If my opinion of my fiancé has changed since we began a cuckolding dynamic it has only resulted in my falling more deeply in love with him. Yes, I always have loved having sex with him and still love having sex with him, and I am obviously deeply attracted to him. I answered these questions time and again, and I began to seek an understanding of where they were coming from. One day during a professional training I encountered a piece of information that would enlighten me to the origin of these questions.
I learned that the manner in which we perceive opportunities and challenges in life is determined by a predisposition towards a scarcity mindset or an abundance mindset. According to the Forbes article titled 5 Ways To Go From A Scarcity To Abundance Mindset: “Scarcity mentality refers to people seeing life as a finite pie, so that if one person takes a big piece, that leaves less for everyone else…An abundance mindset refers to the paradigm that there is plenty out there for everybody.” Obviously, these mindsets can be applied to so many elements of life including employment opportunities, financial outlooks, and social matters. I believe these two opposing mindsets have great bearing on how individuals perceive cuckolding relationships, and they reveal much more about the individual’s outlook than the nature of cuckolding itself.
So much of the language used to describe the cuckold experience in online media reveals a scarcity mindset. It’s often said that the cuck is being replaced by the bull, that his penis has become irrelevant to his cuckoldress because of the sex she has with bulls, that he isn’t enough to sexually satisfy her. I am well aware that the tweets, cuckold captions, and media that propagate these messages online are steeped in fantasy and serve the purpose of jerk-off material and nothing more. Despite that fact, we cannot ignore that repeated exposure to these messages coupled with cuckold shame and stigma can negatively impact the men consuming this material. Sure, some consumers are able to compartmentalize and distinguish fantasy from reality especially when these desires are safely nestled in the confines of the mind. I believe the real impact of all of this scarcity messaging becomes overwhelming when men with cuckold desires begin to consider living out a cuckolding dynamic in a relationship.
My cuck is a fan of this content. When he first showed it to me I wasn’t sure what to think of it. Humiliation is often one of the most challenging elements of cuckolding for women new to the lifestyle. I loved my cuck then as deeply as I do now, and I couldn’t imagine telling him he wasn’t enough for me. I was more satisfied in my relationship with him than any relationship I have been a part of.
My cuckold has always been enough for me and will always be enough for me. He knows that. Still, he wants me to have everything. He has long admired the part of my being that is so naturally capable of insatiability, overflowing empathy, and unending warmth. He recognized the abundance in my nature before even I was able to fully actualize it and realized that it was a force that deserved to be amplified, not hidden away. He took steps toward introducing a non-monogamy and cuckolding in our relationship because it is mutually beneficial, true to our inner nature, and it comes from the overflow of all of our sexual passion for each other.
I have explored a bountiful harvest of sexual experiences as a cuckoldress and my sexual desires have changed and continue to develop. I have come to learn how much my cuckold craves domination, humiliation, and denial within our cuckolding dynamic and I have come to love the glow of power I feel when I dole them out to him. I have been fucked by men who could be olympic athletes at sex if it were recognized as the sport it is. My bulls have provided me with mind-shattering sensual pleasure and our shared experiences have forged a bond of emotional and carnal connection. None of these experiences lessened the intense sexual bond I have with my cuckold. I am not a pie chart. I am a dynamic and powerful woman with an insatiable lust. Every new man I allow into my pussy does not deplete from my sexual reserve, in fact, it has the opposite effect. The more I cuckold my fiancé the more sexual abundance I wish to share with him, and he basks in the glow of the Goddess he has elevated.
Nobody could replace my cuckold. His sex drive is far from irrelevant, his sexuality is driven by his desire to be my cuckold. We have an abundance mindset that has served us well during our years in this beautiful dynamic and will undoubtedly continue to do so. However, I continue to run up against the scarcity mindset online. I encounter white men who read my statements about how much I adore and admire black men and irrationally infer that I must believe white men are inferior, which I do not. I encounter individuals who make vile assumptions about the private and personal details of my relationship because we are a cuckold couple. I see media that paints cuckolding in an unflattering and misogynistic light. I meet this mindset with curiosity about how such an intensely satisfying and empowering dynamic built upon worshiping the plentiful nature of the divine feminine could be so trivialized.
Shifting from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset has so many benefits. It quells anxiety and builds confidence. It sets forth the assertion that you are enough and breaks down barriers of fear and uncertainty. If you wish to embark on a journey of non-monogamy or cuckolding with a cherished partner and experience the true depth of compersion, an abundance mindset will serve you well. You’ll find that there truly always was enough to go around (and then some).
I’ll leave you with a post from a polyamory instagram page I’ve been following. If you’re anything like me you won’t want to be a patron at the Scarcity Mindset Bar.